Women’s Rite of Passage.

I'm sharing my journal, expressing my thoughts and emotions as I reflect on the women’s Rite of Passage before I begin, during my 7 months there and after I return. It's exactly one month until I begin this journey.

Lately, I've been feeling a sense of internal dismantling as I prepare for my upcoming trip. It's not about physically packing my things, but rather accumulating what I need to take with me. There's a noticeable desire within me to eat lighter, and heavy foods now make me feel unwell or are hard to digest. It's interesting because I recently ended a toxic relationship that lasted 5 or 6 years. In retrospect, I realize it was toxic all along, especially in the past two years. It was challenging to distinguish between confusion, protection, and trust issues. I find myself needing to let go in response to that. 

I've been in a holding position, as if I've been holding up walls or guarding myself. But now, I'm starting to feel a sense of freedom and release. It's intriguing to experience this transformation as I embark on the journey that will span over the next seven months. I also notice a release of emotional and physical weight. I gained a fair bit of weight in the past two years while trying to protect myself. Although the physical change might not be apparent yet, I already feel lighter in my body and emotions. Closing that huge door has left me excited, nervous, and ready to embrace a new beginning, like stepping through another doorway. 

This process feels like retracing back to the womb space, focusing on survival and the worth of being here on this planet. It's about feeling safe in this world. This longing I feel has its roots way back, even before my existence in this world. It will be explored and addressed during this experience. 

Dancing Kundalini for the past six years has been my most challenging and transformative journey. My throat, root and sacral chakras have demanded the deepest work. It's about being seen physically, feeling safe, and embracing my worth. It's about finding my voice, expressing myself, and being heard. Trusting my path and letting go of confusion has been a significant part of my journey, including the work on my third eye. 

That's all for today. It's exactly one month before I leave on my first trip to Tasmania for a women’s Rite of Passage with 8 other women who are strangers to me at the moment, but they won’t be for long. We are about to share our deepest wounds, longings, patterns, fears, joys and everything in between. This will be a journal of my time there.

Much love,
Fearless Water